Yasmin Nguyen: 0:00

Have you ever asked yourself what's my purpose now that I'm retired? Have you ever noticed friction between you and your loved ones now that you have more time on your hands? If so, you're not alone. One of the top challenges men face during retirement is feeling relevant. For women, it's being seen. What often causes stress, anxiety, frustration, conflict and depression is misalignment with the things we do and how we interact in our relationships. Alignment means making sure our actions and choices really match up with who we are and what we want.

Yasmin Nguyen: 0:47

Welcome back to the Real Retirement Show. My name is Yasmin here with my co-host, kathleen. In this show we delve into the multifaceted world of retirement beyond the finances. This isn't your typical retirement discussion. It's a vibrant journey into what retirement truly means in today's world. We bring you real stories from real retirees and experts discussing real challenges, surprises, joys, heartaches and the myriad emotions that come with retirement. From addressing family dynamics to mental and physical health, to finding purpose, we tackle the issues that truly matter to retirees and those thinking about retirement. Today's episode is all about getting to the heart of what you really want out of retirement and how to make it happen. You're going to get some straightforward, practical advice on how to better understand yourself and your needs as you navigate this new chapter. We're talking about the kind of understanding that can make the difference between feeling lost and feeling like you're on the right path.

Yasmin Nguyen: 1:55

Our special guest is Candy Barone. Candy isn't your average executive coach. She's a tree shaker, change catalyst and transformational leader who's got a knack for helping people see the big picture of their lives and make changes that stick, especially as they move into retirement. She's an executive coach, fortune 500 speaker, amazon bestselling author and the host of the Aligned as F podcast. She's been showcased in publications and spaces such as CNNcom, us News and World Report, the Austin Statesman, austin Business Journal, the Chicago Tribune, and has served as a panel facilitator for fast company at South by Southwest. She's worked with organizations including the US Army Reserve, corps of Engineer, ge Healthcare, cox Media, rockwell Automation, duke University, northwestern University, northwestern Mutual, to just name a few.

Yasmin Nguyen: 2:56

She's here with us to share her expertise on creating alignment in our lives, understanding the unique blueprint that makes you you through human design, and improving the way we communicate and interact with the important people in our lives. Candy has a talent for breaking down complex ideas into practical steps that anyone can follow. She's going to help us understand how being in alignment can transform our retirement into the fulfilling chapter we all hope for. With her guidance, we'll explore human design, a tool that offers insights into our personal strengths and challenges, helping us make decisions that feel right. But that's not all. Candy will also delve into how we can use this knowledge to enhance our relationships, whether it's our spouse, family or friends. Better communication and understanding can lead to more meaningful connections and less friction, something we can all benefit from in retirement.

Yasmin Nguyen: 3:58

So if you're curious about how to align your retirement life with your true self, discovering your energetic blueprint and operating plan, or just looking to improve your relationships, this episode is for you. Let's get started and uncover how these insights can make your retirement not just comfortable but truly rewarding. Towards the end of last year, I was really struggling with a lot of change, a lot of transitions, both with moving, turning 50, re-evaluating my work and my purpose and I was really in a funk and in our conversations and doing a reading, and in learning more about human design, it has really helped me not only get clarity, but it's also helped me get re-energized and focused and excited about what's ahead, and also helped me better understand myself and also some of the things that I wasn't quite sure about, so I wanted to thank you for just the impact that you've made, even in the short period of time that we've gotten a chance to explore this together.

Candy Barone: 5:04

Well, thank you for that. That just actually makes my heart so happy and it's why I do what I do. It's been really cool to watch what's opened up for you as a result of you better understanding some of that energetic language and what's showing up for you, so it's been my honor, for sure.

Yasmin Nguyen: 5:20

I'd like to kick off by asking you, kandi, about this concept of alignment and why it's so important as we just explore this particular chapter in our lives, as we step into a transition or, in this case, retirement.

Candy Barone: 5:36

I think that's a great question. Alignment is an important conversation, no matter where you're at in your life, and particularly as you're in a transition to walk away from where you probably have identified yourself on a level that, when you start to step away in a retirement capacity, this sense of identity, this sense of direction, where does it go? Where does it go?

Candy Barone: 5:59

So many people have been so deeply conditioned in the work or in the environments or by their career that trying to find their way back to their true essence can be a bit of a journey. And I think, as they explore what does alignment really mean to them? There's a lot of things that they have to unlearn through that process. Our culture devalues a lot of people's sense of identity and sense of purpose, because it's that space of okay, you're done, and I guess you're just going to go sit on a golf course and not do anything. And for a lot of people they've actually put their heart's deepest desires on hold or a back burner to do their career and they've been waiting till that space where they can actually live in a more authentic, aligned capacity. So that how you help them get there for me I think that's everything I think to help bring them back to a sense of meaning and purpose. It really starts in how do they get aligned for themselves first.

Kathleen Mundy: 6:59

You can be really thrilled to have this conversation with you today, because I think it's so important that people shed some of the things that have been imposed upon them through careers or through raising families, and when they reach a point in their life where there's going to be change. And how do we prepare for that change? I think it's really elementary to develop a system that helps the process, because it's something you just absolutely cannot do it alone. It takes so much longer and you'll hit bumps to the road and, oh my God, your journey can be really problematic. So I'm thrilled to have an opportunity to discuss this with you today and help our audience understand some of the tools that they can use along this path.

Candy Barone: 7:51

Well and I love that, just to play off that, because it doesn't look the same for everyone either, and I think that's one of the biggest opportunities in this conversation is what feels aligned for me, in my energy and in my authenticity is not what feels aligned for someone else. I think there's a lot of shitting and shaming that happens in that space as well. You should want to travel right now. I'm going to tell you that when I retire, I don't want to travel. I've spent most of my life on the road. I actually want to be left to look a little bit. So it's that space of understanding and having some space in grace to recognize that this journey is very personal, and I look at alignment as being a deeper walk in your own path, which I am very clear that spirituality in and of itself is a personal journey. So then, that alignment into that true essence of who you are it doesn't look the same for everybody either.

Kathleen Mundy: 8:47

One of the things that we discovered very early on this project is that no two people are alike in their plan or what retirement is going to look like for them, and so this meshes beautifully with what you've just explained to us. I did notice a difference in the last year with Yasmin's mindset. The curiosity that he's always shown was slowed down. It took a different beat because I go at sixth gear and I noticed that he was downshifting a little bit, if I can use that analogy.

Yasmin Nguyen: 9:19

Part of what you've noticed, Kathleen, was I was feeling misalignment. There are parts of me that I couldn't go to sixth gear. I was stuck in third and so, Kandi, I wonder if you could share how are the different ways in which misalignment might show up?

Candy Barone: 9:33

Yeah, so I will make sure I don't go down too many rabbit holes. That is a very loaded question because, again, the answer really is different for each person, depending on what shows up in their chart, and so when I talk about their chart, it is their human design or the operating plan of who they are. It's an energetic blueprint. So, for example, one of the key areas that that would show up is, if you're looking at your chart, there are areas that are colored on your chart. That is what's known as definition. You have consistent access to that energy, so it is an energy you're broadcasting into the world 24-7. It's where your gifts and your superpowers and you're just innate way you show up and how you operate.

Candy Barone: 10:12

The white areas on your chart, or the openness in your chart, is where most people are successful and acceptable to really getting knocked out of alignment, because that is the area where imposter syndrome kicks in.

Candy Barone: 10:23

It is the area where we are prone to burnout, because it is the area where we are shitting and shaming ourselves in every capacity and we are taking in, we are absorbing, we are amplifying the energy of everyone around us, the environments around us.

Candy Barone: 10:41

So if you haven't done the work to know how to discern what energy is yours or what energy feels good to you, or what actually is alignment for you.

Candy Barone: 10:51

You can get taken out by that influx of energy that you are constantly sampling and amplifying, and for a lot of people, they haven't learned the practice of how to discharge that out of their body. So what happens is it starts building and building, and building, and building, and then it starts ricocheting all around their body and they don't know what to do with it, which pulls them out of alignment, and they start showing up in ways that don't feel true to who they are. They show up either depressed, or they show up angry, or they show up in third gear instead of sixth gear, and oftentimes those open areas, depending on what they look like in your chart, are areas for rest, recharge, restoration, reflection, slowing down to speed up, because, regardless of your design, we all have patterns of waiting and we all need to rest and we all need to learn how to take care of ourselves, and so any of those combinations, just on a surface level, could be a huge factor of what pulls somebody out of alignment.

Kathleen Mundy: 11:53

That speaks directly to me. There's no question, because when you're going in sixth gear and that's your wheelhouse you have to learn how to slow down and recover and do some self-care because you're right.

Candy Barone: 12:07

All of that other stuff can really affect your insights as well and how you process things Well and just to say this, because I know Yasmin had sent me your information as well so I could look at your chart your charts couldn't be more different. So when you are in sixth gear, yasmin needs to remind himself that he is in no way, shape or form, here to keep up with you. You are what's known as a manifest, or you're blazing a path. You had this very bark kind of energy that when it's lit up, it gets very big and you're initiating things. Yasmin has a more consistent cadence to how he works. When he's lit up, though, he does have an amplification of power, but you two couldn't be more different. So that's another thing that pulls people out of alignment is we spend too much time worrying about somebody else's energy, and the fact that we do this whole comparison itists. Or we do this whole people pleasing or we do whatever. It is that knocks us further out of alignment, because we keep going.

Candy Barone: 13:05

Why can't I act like? Why am I not more level like Yasmin? I'm a manifesting generator. There's nothing level about my energy. It comes in pulses. It's either on or it's off, and there's zero in between. I think even the first time I met Yasmin and introduced him to my friends. I was like he's just this light. He's this really soft, gorgeous, just steady light, and it actually brings tears in my eyes because I'm absolutely not. I'm going to come in and the whole tablecloth's getting disrupted. There's a lot of energy that comes in and so I think when you understand that about yourself, there's a responsibility that you take that says I need to learn how to do me and stop thinking I'm supposed to be something other than owning. This is how my energy is wired and right. It's that in conversation, because your chart, you couldn't be more different. There isn't a wow, kathleen's in sixth gear and I'm in third, and it might be exactly where you need to be based on what you're going through at that time.

Yasmin Nguyen: 14:08

That's so interesting because literally yesterday, kathleen and I had a conversation, because you helped me understand and discern our differences. As a generator, once I ramp up from third to sixth gear, I'm on sixth gear but Kathleen has downshifted. I've noticed recently I am going full speed on our projects and I know that Kathleen needs rest and is at a different pace, and I was mindful to reach out and saying, hey, I don't have the expectation that you are in sixth gear with me, it's just, this is where I'm at and this is how I operate, and it gives us permission to really embrace where we are and not feel like there's an expectation of each other. So thank you for that discernment.

Kathleen Mundy: 14:52

Absolutely Thank you for that, because one of the things that I've experienced through a very long business world that was the life I was in. It was really difficult and no one has ever up until Yasmin said that the other day appreciated that I might need just some recovery time. No one's ever said what he said to me. No one's ever said I understand, we work at different pace. The thought was there, the intention came through very clearly and maybe that speed in which I often show up as it gets depleted pretty quickly as well. And it's what you said you're either on 100% or you're zero. You use all of that very quickly. I do have to learn how to accept the element of others not working at the same pace. So when I think it's time to slow down, yasmin's going like a crazy bird. That's like a little energized bunny. He just goes and goes and goes Over 100%. Yeah, oh, no, 200%, but yeah, yeah, yeah.

Candy Barone: 15:58

And you just being around that sometimes. So this is what you need to understand from your openness you being around that sometimes can be exhausting and take you out.

Candy Barone: 16:07

So you need to understand that when he's working like that, it's probably not best that you're in those environments, because you're going to feel this amplified pressure of why am I not getting shit done? I got to go, oh yeah. And then you feel instead you need to go. Who is any of this? Mine, no, and the discernment. And then, if you feel any build up of pressure, go take a walk, shake your body, discharge it out of your system, because when he's in go time, you need to actually be away from him.

Candy Barone: 16:35

He will actually get inspired by your go time, but he cannot interrupt you when you're in flow, kathleen. He can't interrupt you because then there's where that burst of creativity has to pop and go somewhere or anybody else. So you got to really inform. I need to go deep today. Today is the day I'm going to cave. Leave me alone. I want to do this because I think you might even have caves as your environment, like me. So, yes, you like to have your back up against wall, you like to know where your entrances are and you don't always like people in your space when you're working. So really important that you inform and say Yasmin, I don't need you to text me, call me anything for the next four hours. I've got something I'm working on. When you come out Awesome Yasmin you can actually interrupt in between what he's doing. He can get right back into his flow. But when he's in, that big energy you need to like find a different way to play it.

Candy Barone: 17:25

When he's there, I get stressed, you don't feel very overwhelming, like you're choking on energy.

Kathleen Mundy: 17:31

You'll be like how how, how, how, how, how.

Candy Barone: 17:33

How, how, how, how, how.

Kathleen Mundy: 17:40

And it's interesting because I can interrupt him. Yep and I do I've read your track.

Candy Barone: 17:44

I've got your track.

Kathleen Mundy: 17:45

He has a cadence. He has a cadence. Yeah, but if somebody interrupts me, whoa.

Candy Barone: 17:52

The wheels come off and you are about to go for the jugular, uh-huh.

Kathleen Mundy: 17:55

That's incredible. One of the things I think you can help prevent is the guilt that people have.

Candy Barone: 18:02

One of the things I'm itching to say, and what you just shared, is the fact that you, as a manifestor because that is the type that you are you are not designed to fit in the current world we live in. You are 8% of the population. You are not here to fit in a generator world and Yasmin is what's known as a generator. He is the energizer bunny when he is in the right spaces that light him up and he has this extra power, energy in his chart as well. So when it feels delightful and expansive and he's responding, his whole strategy is to respond to the things that feel in his gut Right Like it's the things that feel juicy and good and delightful and expansive. When he's lit up, in that, he's here to do the heavy lifting work for a long cadence, to go through this blastomastry, and then he'll hit kind of a resting spot, but it's this very deep, rich, like work that is ongoing. So that is where he is in alignment and in aspects of his chart. You, on the other hand, kathleen, is what's known as a manifestor and you are 8% of the population. You are a spark. You are here to ignite and initiate and oftentimes not follow through on completing things, it will completely take you out. You also have what's known as this nonverbal creative flow, which means when that spark of inspiration comes in, now you are an emotional manifestor, so you might have to wait over time to make sure it's the right spark, because you have openness in your head and you can get into shiny squirrel syndromes. Where you get these downloads, you're like, oh my God, yes, and oh my God, yes, and oh my God, yes, and you're starting 20,000 things. When you need to get dialed in to start the right things, you then get into what's known as a nonverbal creative flow. One of the biggest things you need to remember is, while you're here to initiate, there is a step you need to take first. So when the download or the spark of inspiration hits you, you need to slow down enough to inform those that are going to be impacted that you're about to set their world on fire because you are here to disrupt, you are here to create new and you comparing yourself to any generator is a waste of time because you're creating things that have never been created. And so those spark of inspirations, you might just need to say, yasmin, I'm about to go into a deep hole for like four hours and I got this idea and I need to run, and what happens is Yasmin then gets initiated based on you being in the authentic alignment of how that spark is going through your system. So you're not necessarily going. I need you to do this. He then responds based on your initiation and feels like he then knows what work he needs to do. As a result, or you initiate him to do the work he needs to do. That might be separate and a manifestor.

Candy Barone: 20:59

When they're in that nonverbal creative flow, you go until the flow is done. If something or someone disrupts you. This is why you need to inform, because if someone disrupts you when you're in that flow, you get a burst of irrational anger that pops because you have this buildup of creativity and all of a sudden then you're like I don't know and it takes you forever to get back in that flow. Your flows only last in these pockets and when you're done with the flow, go take a walk, go do something else, go find your inspiration, take a freaking nap, but you are not here to stay in that flow. When the flow is telling you that it's done, then it's time to delegate, then it's time to do whatever. And then it's time to hand it off to someone like Yasmin and you're like do what you're going to do, go maintain this thing. I just created it, I don't want to see it anymore and I'm out. And that is something for you two to really understand about yourself, because otherwise what happens is the guilt, the shame, the shitting, the whole. Oh my God, I can't.

Candy Barone: 22:00

If we were to function in that way, imagine how different business would be if we knew who our manifestors were and who our projectors were and who our generators were. And, like me, I'm a manifesting generator. So, while you have fast energy, kathleen, you think Yasmin's an energizer Bunny, be with me when I'm lit up and all the power in my chart. You're not here to keep out with me. I have to actually coach people to remind them. You're not here to do work the way I do, because when I get into a blast, it's three days. I don't sleep. I'm lit up. Last year in four days, at the end of the year, I rebuilt my website, re-dilled 17 landing pages, overhauled several programs in four days for most people that would take them out and then I slept for a week and didn't do anything afterwards because that my pulse was on and then my pulse was off.

Kathleen Mundy: 22:46

Wow, Yasmin knows this about me I'm not very often speechless, but I certainly am at this point.

Yasmin Nguyen: 22:52

Candy. For those who may not be familiar with what human design is, could we take a quick step back and paint the picture of what human design is? And you mentioned chart. How does someone discover their chart as well?

Candy Barone: 23:03

Well, and I'll actually start with what it's not, because I think that's important. I think there's a lot of people that have a misinterpretation of what they think human design is, and one is the fact that people call it an assessment. Think about what an assessment is. It's a series of questions that you are responding to based on your emotional state at the time, your experiences, your filters, your stuff. It can change. It is also very subjective. In trying to put you into a label or a box, human design is an energetic blueprint that is a synthesis of your time of birth, date of birth and location. It doesn't change how you experience. Your chart will change as you heal and grow and learn, but your human design chart does not change. It is also a synthesis of Eastern philosophy and Western science, meaning it brings in the systems of the Aichinger, the 64 hexagrams, it brings in the cabala, or the tree of life. It brings in astrology, numerology, and it brings in the evolved nine center chakra system. So that's the Eastern philosophy side. Then it brings in quantum mechanics, quantum physics and epigenetics. So now you have this synthesis. If you've ever seen the movie, the best way I can explain this. If anyone has ever seen the Pixar movie Soul with Jamie Foxx, when Jamie Foxx is like I want to be a jazz musician and he signs this little soul contract and then he stands in a line waiting for the portal to open so he can go into the world as a jazz musician. That is your human design. The other thing I will say is a lot of people will tell you, human design is who you are. No, you have free will to decide who you are at any point and who you choose to become. Human design is how you are. It is an operating plan and it's here to show you how you give and use energy, how you interact with the world and others, how you work, rest and play best, how you make decisions that are aligned for you how, how, how, how and it is all about energy coming in or going out. Period. It is physics. Thank you for that.

Candy Barone: 25:06

One of the things I think is an opportunity for us to dispel is it's not that you need to learn something or become something. It's not that you got to go seek or find something. A lot of this process is unlearning and unbecoming. All of the layers of crap you've put on yourself through that guilt and that shaming and that shitting. It's more of an exploration or contemplation, because I do think people think they're going to get into human design. It's some kind of assessment which it's not. They want to figure it out. Oh my God, how am I wired? It doesn't work that way.

Candy Barone: 25:36

Human design meets you where you're at and it is an ongoing peeling back of an onion where you get to sit with and explore and contemplate the resonance that shows up for where you're at in your life.

Candy Barone: 25:49

We have certain things and not to go too deep into this, but we have things in our chart that we are here to bump up against. There are nuances we experience depending on what we've healed, what we've learned, what we've experienced and where we've gotten wise, in addition to where we've deconditioned or unprogrammed or pulled ourselves out of the matrix to come back in and understand our truth. One of the first things we do or I do with people in that exploration is help them understand the fundamental, foundational aspects of the chart, meaning just like when I said between you and Yasmin understanding which of the five types you are. It is the role you are here to play. Are you a manifestor, manifesting generator, generator, projector or reflector? They have a very specific role for how they're here to show up to do the work to evolve us into the next evolution of humanity and ship consciousness. It's a process of how do I explore and contemplate and allow human design to meet me where I'm at.

Kathleen Mundy: 26:53

If we had to say to retirees who are searching for methods to find purpose after a massive career how can you specifically predict a way to have your human design help you through those trying, difficult times, whether it be family dynamic changes or health or wellness, all of the elements that we have to deal with in all of our life, but certainly to a large extent later in life.

Candy Barone: 27:25

Yeah, I think that's a beautiful question. I'll go back to one of the things I said. In understanding where you're opening your chart and where you're defining, that is a huge indicator of where you're taking in fears of others or where you're taking in things that are further amplifying energy. For example, if you have an open solar plexus, you're taking everybody else's emotion in and you need to learn how to discharge that. That's one aspect. The other is there are specific things that show up in our chart that show where we have codependency tendencies.

Candy Barone: 27:55

For me, I have a tremendous amount of codependency in my chart, not just with people, but with ideas, systems, my business.

Candy Barone: 28:03

It has been part of my learning on how can I untether.

Candy Barone: 28:06

I also have this control energy that says I want to just fish for people, because sometimes I don't have the patience. I need to learn how to one cut those cords and remind myself that there's power in teaching people how to fish instead of always going in to clean it up. Those are things that, when I understand that about myself, I then can create practices to fill my cut back up, to nourish myself. When you understand how you recharge, how you replenish and for many people, depending on what your chart says. Some people aren't here to serve when the cup is full. They really need to start practicing serving from the overflow based on what shows up in their chart, because if they only let themselves get full, they get caught into some of these cycles that then the grief takes them out or the codependency takes them out, and so, again, when you look at your specific nuances and you start to understand the coding that lives in those spaces, you then can do what you need to take care of yourself.

Candy Barone: 29:09

first, there is an energy we're moving into that takes us out of this definition of how we serve that says when I take care of me, I can take care of you. What shifting is? When I take care of me, all is taken care of, and we need to learn how to lead ourselves first before we can think we can be for everybody else. And unfortunately a lot of people have this very tethered, codependent nurturing I need to take care of everybody. How do they shift that? Because it's really hard to figure out who you are when you're still entrenched or entangled in it.

Yasmin Nguyen: 29:45

When you talk about the chart, I'm curious are there certain indicators in the chart that help someone especially men, but also women as well to navigate that question of what's next? What's my purpose? Where do I go from here? Stepping into retirement?

Candy Barone: 30:00

And this is going to be a yes and kind of conversation, because there are places you can naturally look and it's different for everybody, but depending on what aspects of your quote purpose, because a lot of what human design does is, it really is a pathway for people to remember. There is no. I got to find my purpose. There's no purpose outside of you. You are purpose, you are your purpose, and when you understand that and start to understand the language and the coding of what you brought into this world, it gives you some freedom and permission.

Candy Barone: 30:36

One of the biggest things I've seen with people, especially in a transition or going into retirement, is there's a permission that says, oh, I get to be that, oh, and now that I say that I can do it, just as a freeing. It's like the shackles go away, and so a lot of it is helping people create the space to give themselves permission for what they already know. Well, maybe they didn't realize, yes, or they forgotten right For sure, because as children, if you go back to when you were really itty bitty, we all knew who we were. We may not have been able to language it, but we came into this world knowing who we were and what we were here to do. We just have forgotten that, based on the culture and the environments and the programming, that's so powerful.

Yasmin Nguyen: 31:18

I'm curious, as you've looked at Kathleen's chart, is there anything particular that we affirm are purpose?

Candy Barone: 31:24

Yeah, and it's interesting because I actually should pull your chart when I'm looking at this. But I did look at Kathleen and her husband's charts and what's interesting is they have the same birthday, different years. A couple of things that were interesting is you're going to have some flavors that feel the same, yet your charts could not be more different, even though you're both manifestors and same with you and Yasmin. There are areas where you're going to be really in sync and when you learn how to borrow the energy from the other. Who has that definition? Because one of the things for you, kathleen, that's really important to know is you have five of your nine centers open, which means you are absorbing a lot of energy from other people, especially that generator energy Meaning.

Candy Barone: 32:03

There is a natural pressure. You have a almost wide open route, so you have a natural pressure to get stuff done and want to get it off your plate and get it all moving. And there's sometimes where you feel like you've got to go, go, go. And if somebody were like, hey, I want you to come speak to our group in two months, you're like I need to put the slides together today, like there's almost an urgency. That's unnecessary for you because you're built, especially if you're around someone like me, who mine is the opposite of yours. My route is almost fully defined. So if we were working together and Yasmin is a good example of that he has a defined route as well. It's that space of you. Don't need to work at my speed, you don't need to hustle in this capacity, and one of the things you can borrow from Yasmin is his sense of knowing how to prioritize, his sense of knowing how you know what that's two months from now. We don't need to worry about that till here. Let's stay focused on what's present.

Candy Barone: 32:55

The other thing for you that you're going to find because you have an open G center or heart center and spleen is it is absolutely critical for you, kathleen, to discern who and where you surround yourself, meaning the people you are engaged with and your environments are either going to be very healthy for you or they are going to take you out, and there is no in between. One of the things you're here to learn is how to trust your intuition, that whisper that says that doesn't feel right, that doesn't good. I don't know why that person didn't do anything. It doesn't matter If, in any way, shape or form, you feel like not healthy for me, because you really have an opportunity to discern what is healthy.

Candy Barone: 33:44

You will have a hard time sometimes and I would gather you've experienced this in your life letting go of things that no longer serve you, letting go of things you have a habit sometimes of carrying the crusty blanket around because it's safer to carry the blanket, because you also have a gate that says you have the fear of the future, which you're sometimes risk averse to let go of the blanket because you don't know what's going to happen. On the other side, yasmin has a really defined G center. You have an open G center. So one of the reasons why you and Yasmin work so well together is because he has a very clear sense of purpose, direction and identity, and you probably have found yourself in life searching here's the thing you are here to sample, not land on one thing.

Kathleen Mundy: 34:26

Well, that's really interesting and something that you said about my husband and I. You said that we were both manifesters, and yet that surprises me, because I think we are as different as Yasmin and I are, and we're completely sometimes on a different planet, I sense, but we share a lot of commonalities and values.

Candy Barone: 34:52

Yes, and your charts are very different, even though you're both manifesters and this is where the nuances matter just because you're both emotional manifesters. So you have the same type and the same authority and you have the same energy in different lines, in your broad purpose. Everything else in your chart is different. Everything else in your chart is different where you're defined, where you're open. Your husband also has this very rare profile, which is a very fixed, just a position, I would gather.

Candy Barone: 35:25

Changes, not something he's really on board with. It takes him a long time to shift something because he needs foundations and everything he does before he can make a shift. So, for example, if he were in a job, he would have to have another job secured. He couldn't just leave a job and think he would figure it out. That's not how he's wired.

Candy Barone: 35:48

You, on the other hand, a lot of your experiences and learning comes in your relationships with other people and it can change based on who's in your environments and how you're doing. But you're here to sample a lot, to become wise in your own learnings and to teach from that capacity and, with you having that Open G Center, you're here to decide who you want to be for the people that need you. So you're like a chameleon. You have this opportunity to wake up and be like I want to be a Wonder Woman. Or wake up and be like I kind of want to be like no, it's late today. Or I want to be like you get to adapt. He doesn't have that luxury. He's on a very set course and it's all about creating foundations where you're a visionary leader who is here to kind of stir some things up and bring a very oracle, sage kind of wisdom to the potential of what is available on the planet, and so how you show up and how he shows up as a manifester are totally different.

Kathleen Mundy: 36:51

It's true, absolutely true. We had the pleasure of spending a week together, all three of us, and so he has seen something that Robert's very determined, and once he gets something, he stays with us and makes sure that it's accomplished.

Yasmin Nguyen: 37:08

It was fascinating to be there both with Kathleen and Robert, and I have a funny story we had determined that we were going to have chicken wings one night, and so the thing we didn't expect was that there was going to be this massive rain and wind storm. And, true to his nature, robert was out there in the rain, drenched, with winds just swirling around, and he made those chicken wings. And it was fascinating to be able to notice that and also the dynamics in which both Kathleen and Robert communicate and interact with each other.

Candy Barone: 37:41

Pivoting is not something he's going to do easily. He's not going to pivot on the fly. He has to have the foundations in place to create the change. So, yeah, not surprised that he was out there, because if he got it in his mind, yes, 100%, I love that.

Kathleen Mundy: 37:58

That's a great story we were chatting the other day. His mom said to me once oh, you know, robert's a real procrastinator and they thought I wouldn't see that. He prioritizes and sometimes it's different than my priorities and I get that, but he decides things. It's a lesson that he procrastinates. He really has to think things through and almost understand what some of the outcomes might be before he begins it.

Candy Barone: 38:31

It is true, because he has a defined root and you don't. So, again, you're always trying to get this pressure of things off you and go. She is right. So in the classities, those with a defined root procrastination when it's aligned, we get some juice off sliding things into the 11th hour. I will, for examples, I will have a speaking engagement where you'll be like I want to build the slides two months early. Someone will be like can't, I need your slide deck. I'm like for what they're like for your talk in March. I'm like that's not going to happen until the night before I give the talk I'll be thinking about it and ruminating about it, but I'm not going to do the thing until it's required to do the thing. My class I just ran, I did the slides the day before because I need to be able to pull through.

Candy Barone: 39:15

There is an aspect of sliding things in at the 11th hour or that procrastination that's extremely healthy and, yes, there's sort of a rumination or a prioritization that says it'll get done. I trust divine timing, where for you that's actually one of the areas for you to become more wise is to discern and trust, especially because you have an open root and spleen. When is the timing right to take action? When is the timing right to let things go and the trust in divine timing that all will be taking care of exactly as it needs to and you don't need to get it all done?

Kathleen Mundy: 39:49

right now. Well, it's interesting, I won't do the slides at all.

Candy Barone: 39:56

Well, actually, because you've been a manifesto and the other things in your chart, that doesn't surprise me. You'll have the idea and then you'll hand it to Yasmin and be like this is when I see here's your, take your interpretation, respond to it and he will build the slides. 100%, yes, burn it up and manifest her. That actually wasn't a good analogy. You will not build the slide.

Yasmin Nguyen: 40:14

True Cappanine will do what she really does, which she's a professional nudger right.

Candy Barone: 40:19

She'll suggest something and oh, she's a spark and you're going to respond to what she initiates in that spark 100%. She is not here to do the work. She is here to initiate the movement and the momentum and will do which piece lights her up, that feels like she can create. So, for example, the manifesting generator. Me, when I got asked to build ROI models, I loved building the first one. Then they're like well, you need to maintain this. I'm like, oh, no, I am not maintaining anything. The idea of me maintaining something, and especially for a manifesto that's a pure manifesto. No, I'm going to stay in the creative flow while it feels new and then I want nothing to do with it once it becomes something that now we're going to tweak and we're going to maintain. No, yeah.

Kathleen Mundy: 41:06

I have to have something new and generate. You're right, I have to generate something.

Candy Barone: 41:10

Now you will stay in deep pockets of creativity if it's like you're writing a book and it's brand new and it's like you can write the whole book as long as it feels like they're creating something new and there's something new you're bringing to the table. If there's aspects of it you're like we need to talk about our systems. You're like, yes, man, those are your pieces of the book, right, because he's going to talk about the process, the systems, the congruence, the things that are like the substance that's needed to evolve the work. You're like here's what I see. Let me put the chapter, lay them out. You guys would do really well to collaborate in that capacity, but, yes, you're not here to build the slide deck.

Candy Barone: 41:47

Another thing for you and your husband to keep in mind you're both emotional authority, but your wave is not going to be the same. You both will have high highs and low lows and they may not be cycling together. If you have children, in your case, if one of your kids is a projector and one of them has an open solar plexus, they're absorbing your emotional energy from both of you all the time. I always tell my people with the open solar plexus one of the things you need to remember is not my circus, not my monkeys, not my circus, not my monkeys, not my circus Right, yasmin? I tell you that all the time You're a pure generator. This is where Yasmin can get taken out. If you're in one of your really high highs, kathleen, or one of your really low lows and, by the way, that's very natural, I'm an emotional person too. There's nothing wrong with you. It is part of how you cycle. Yasmin can pick up on that and all of a sudden be like oh, why do I feel like I'm so sad today? Now I just feel like I don't want to do anything because he's taking all your energy and making it his and getting sucked into that melancholy Again. When you understand, there's whole different conversations. The other thing for you, kathleen and this is, by the way, yasmin, this will be the same as what we talked about for projectors, those that are psychotypes, that are generators.

Candy Barone: 42:56

Your best way to get what you need out of Yasmin that feels aligned is yes, no, this that questions, which is not your natural state of asking questions. You are open-ended. Don't ask questions your way. Ask questions. You would be like Yasmin does this feel good to you, yes or no? Like rapid fire, the faster you can go, because he is all in the now, yes, no, this, that black, white linear polarity, like you, do not work that way.

Candy Barone: 43:23

You would do better if you said so. How do you feel about that? What about this feels good to you? In what ways is this showing up? So he needs to learn how to use open-ended language to really draw you out in what's popping, because oftentimes, as a manifestor, you really struggle because that informed piece kicks you in the ass, because you have a hard time languaging these sparks and the inspirations and the download. And if you have to take too much time to language and someone's not asking you in a way that feels aligned, it can shut down your creative spark as well, because now you're like I don't know. Is that yes, no, I don't. Versus how, what, in what ways? Where? Yes, totally, totally different. That in and of itself is a game changer for people.

Kathleen Mundy: 44:10

Well, so has this interview. So has this episode Such as a game changer for me. It's going to be a game changer for those people who had the opportunity to listen to this and again I just want to thank you so so much for everything you shared and, yasmin, thank you for bringing this to me and to our audience, and I know it's going to be a game changer. There's my life and it's a beautiful life, Don't get me wrong. I think it's wonderful.

Kathleen Mundy: 44:36

Especially what we're talking about today really defines the method, if I can use that to cement a good relationship, and I think with children, it's really important to have an understanding when you're transitioning. We talk about this a little bit in family dynamics. You know it changes when you retire and I'm going through that now. I have one daughter who seems to insist on communicating on a regular basis and she gets really nervous if I mean, I'm not a call your mom every day girl. So I think that something like this to have a better understanding if we could communicate this to our close friends and family for sure, it would really help so much in seeing a lighter, more joyful relationship as it changes. This transition is not easy for your family members either.

Candy Barone: 45:32

No, and I would be curious, just to name it, what you said, to see if the daughter that you're referencing has an open throat and or is a projector, because my guess is she's one or both and has this need to be seen and recognized and is not waiting for the opportunity to be called in. And I wonder if this feels aligned for you. She talks all the time. She's always sharing thoughts, ideas, wisdom, like her point of view. However, if you ask her for that, does it feel different to you on the back end? So if it's one of those you're like, wait a minute, she might have just said something really good. Can you repeat that? I think that was really good. Can she say the same thing? She might be like oh, that was magical, like how did you know that? Did you get in that? When you call her out directly, does it feel different in the way she communicates?

Kathleen Mundy: 46:18

Well, that's interesting, we'll see.

Candy Barone: 46:19

I'm going to have a phone call with her today, because when I hear that in doing this work for six years, I can hear nuances that immediately make me go. Oh, because even though you're a manifestor, kathleen, this is another thing for you. You also have a very strong projector line, because your five line is aligned that while you want to initiate and inform, sometimes in the way you're leading others, you need people to draw you out, to speak in the language. That's going to be how they can receive it, because you're not here for everybody.

Candy Barone: 46:50

Manifestors have a natural repelling aura, which means they are trying to push away all the people that are not for them so that they can find their little posse of people that are where they feel safe and feel like they can do. Because a lot of people don't understand manifestors and will say things like you're always initiating things, you're never finishing things. There's a lot of shame that comes in trying to put a manifestor in the generator world, but it's that space. So sometimes you need to be drawn out, because the other thing people will do is naturally want to villainize or make you their savior, because, as a visionary leader, they see you having the solution that sometimes people don't take responsibility for themselves because they're like well, kathleen, I'll just fix it.

Kathleen Mundy: 47:32

That's true, yes, but you and I have talked about moving and changing and doing all of these things in retirement. That's why we're having this conversation today is to help people understand the transition stage and planning for it, and I think it's so insightful. It's wonderful that we can have this. I wonder if it's something that you can start and understand and help with the planning. So how far in advance do you think it would be wise to have a better understanding through human design before we enter a new chapter?

Candy Barone: 48:05

Yesterday, and the reason I say that is because I do strategic work for business owners. I have a framework I use that helps them get dialed into what it is they're trying to build in their business and we overlay human design in that entire conversation from day one. The sooner the better, because to your point you've got to understand what lights me up, what feels aligned for me, what is showing up that says, oh, I never thought about that, because I see so many people have aha and those insightful like sparks or downloads or just connections. The sooner you bring this into your conversation around planning for your next chapter, whatever you want to call it transition, the better. Because if you go into that planning with the conditioning and the guilt and the shaming and the programming of what you've been currently living in and you were overly associated in your identity with how you worked and who you were in that title and, by the way, the higher your title, the more connected and identified you are with it.

Candy Barone: 49:07

I've watched this of transitioning C level executives in their retirement. This is the hardest conversation because they identify their entire sense of purpose and meaning with that title of C level whatever. So for them it's absolutely critical that they start unpacking all of the masks and the buildup and the ways that they've been taught. They have to perform to get into that essence. Otherwise you're building a circular plan. That's the same thing over and over again. You're not going to move into a space that feels open and free and peaceful and satisfying. You're going to be more of the same and you're going to put all that pressure on yourself.

Kathleen Mundy: 49:46

You just used a word that we haven't heard or used and it's satisfying, and I think that brings a whole different meaning to what we anticipate. It sets the stage to really become joyful in your approach to life.

Candy Barone: 50:06

Yeah, and here's the irony of that 70% of the population is a generator type manifesting generator or generator. Do you know what their signature theme is? For them to be in alignment Satisfaction. It is not about achievement. It's not about how much stuff you can get done. It's not about accomplishments. It's about satisfaction and fulfillment, and we do not have a culture that understands what that means.

Candy Barone: 50:32

For a projector, it's about redefining success from a place of well-being. For a manifester, it's about peace. We don't have a culture right now. So if you go into retirement with the same old beliefs that you have in conditioning, how are you going to get anywhere close to peace, satisfaction, success from a place of well-being, or excitement and delight from a reflector? Who's looking at the full potential of what we could possibly step into as humanity? We're nowhere near that. So if you're building your retirement plan from this old, you're going to get a lot more of the same of how much can I produce and how much stuff am I doing, and it's more and more and more and more. Instead of what, if I just let myself be instead of do the questions for a generator type, does this light you up and do you have energy for it now.

Kathleen Mundy: 51:27

I can see this to be a huge advantage, because one of the statistics when we were doing our research was the depression rate, clinical depression rate and I think that the transition of not knowing where I am, how do I fit in, what am I going to do, and the pressure from people asking you I was retired for three months and thought I'd go mad because people kept asking me questions about whoa, what are you going to do now? Well, I don't know. I'm just trying to figure it out, but this can really help. Yes, there's going to be times where you're kind of high and low, but when you think one in three actually are suffering with clinical depression, that's amazing. I spoke to a physician this morning earlier and when I mentioned those stats to him he just nodded and said yes, and that's what's documented.

Candy Barone: 52:18

I would say that those numbers are probably even bigger, and one of the things you can actually see where you are prone to depression in your chart here are new, more than likely out of alignment. First, and, yes, we have a culture that's not even set up for how we're naturally wired collectively, so no wonder why people feel so out of alignment. I've never seen people so out of alignment as what's going on currently, right now. It's why everything that's happening around us on social media and all of that noise is just a reflection and projection of the state of well-being or lack of well-being, because what's changing our metric of success is not about money and about how much we do. It's about our own well-being and how much well-being we're putting into the world, and that's what's shifting. And unless we understand that, we're going to have a really, really bumpy ride trying to be something that we're not supposed to be, and a lot of people are feeling that.

Yasmin Nguyen: 53:17

Wow, this is such a powerful conversation. Thank you so much, candia. I feel like we could talk for hours and days and weeks, which we have, and I'm curious for those who are interested in learning more about either human design, learning more about you and your work how do people get started?

Candy Barone: 53:36

I would say, whether you choose to do this with me or someone else, is to do a foundational reading.

Candy Barone: 53:41

Whoever is speaking the language that feels more expansive and opening, because there are people out there doing human design and it's coming from a very scarce lacking. Here's where you're broken. Here's what you need to fix. I would not suggest you go from that path, but get a reading to understand the basic foundational pieces of how you're wired, to see what resonates, and then you will know whether or not you want to go deeper in that exploration or if that's enough for you to start thinking about what's next in your life at this juncture. And so I would say get your chart. You can get your chart for free, but then have somebody who knows how to interpret it walk you through the foundational pieces of it. I think too many people go down rabbit holes where then they get overloaded and stuck, because there is a lot of information, there's a lot of information that hasn't been fully synthesized. So find a path where it resonates to have somebody help you tap into which pieces to explore first.

Kathleen Mundy: 54:39

So, yasmin, this is one thing that he's really good at he's going to put things in the show notes and people can actually find the help that they need. And I want to just take a moment now to just thank you so, so much for the insight that you've given us today. Certainly, yasmin has had more, but this has been kind of a jumping in the pool for me and, needless to say, I have been enriched because of it. I hope that people find tremendous value in what you've shared with us today and, to this point, I want them to subscribe. You know, we're all about sharing and giving and making sure that our audience has what they need, and I think you've given them a wonderful piece of that today.

Candy Barone: 55:21

Thank you so much, truly been an honor. I really appreciate having this conversation.

Yasmin Nguyen: 55:26

Thank you, candi. You, your work, your wisdom, your heart have been such a gift, not only for me, but also for us and for our community as well, and know that the impact that you're making is so profound, and please continue to do that, and we can't wait to continue on this journey with you as well and share the possibilities on this next chapter.

Candy Barone: 55:49

So thank you so much. Thank you. I love what you're doing and I have a lot of clients that show up in this space. Transition, especially empty nesters, and retirement it's the age we're at and it's amazing the conversations, how they can change. Thank you both very much for the invitation. I feel deeply honored. Thank you.

Kathleen Mundy: 56:06

Thank you Until we see you next time.

Yasmin Nguyen: 56:09

For those who are interested in learning more about working with Candi and scheduling a personal reading, visit wwwcandibaroncom. We will also include links to our website, book and resources in our show notes at wwwrealretirementshowcom. Thank you for taking the time to join us today. If you enjoyed this episode or found it valuable, please subscribe, follow or leave a comment or review on your favorite platform. If you have friends, clients or loved ones who are retired or thinking about retirement, we invite you to share this show with them. Remember, retirement is a joyful journey we get to experience together. Join us next week for another real retirement conversation.